Rules, Tips and Tricks of The Negotiatiator:
#1. Every form of communication is a Negotiation
#2. A Negotiating Complement is the person or party You are Negotiating with.
#3. A.B.N. (Always Be Negotiating)
#4. Ask Resourceful Questions
#5. Master the Art of Listening - see how many distinctions you can discern with each communication event.
#6. Never Entertain a Villiany Negotiation. The right-wrong game is very resource limited. It’s designed as a win-loose from the beginning.
#7. Fairytaling is when someone looks at point A and point B then simply hallucinates what’s between those two points. For instance if we use the metaphor literally then a business person who has to drive a lot in the process of their business needs to get across town and they start to plan what time to leave - telling themselves “I can get their in 20 minutes” because they remembered one time making the journey in 20 minutes at 3am after coming home from a late party will almost certainly fall in the category of fairytaling. The fairytale in this equation is that the planner is not thinking about traffic patterns, rush hour, lunch traffic, etc. A fairytale is usually concocted when the fairytaler NEEDS his picture to be real regardless of the real picture.
#8 Sensory Acuity is an NLP term that means pay attention. Specifically, sensory acuity is about making as many distinctions about what you experience as possible. For example you might “see” that someone is wearing a shirt. The distinctions you make about that shirt might be it’s color, texture, fabric, binding or looseness, it’s value, how it relates to taste, culture, etc. The more distinctions we make in any given moment the more choices we have.
#9 State or States defines the overall gestalt of a person’s state-of-being. It can be a measurement of resources and neediness of different aspects of the “self”. N.A.C.S. often defines State as an amalgamation of physicality (”the quality of your movement determines the quality of your life”), attention (where attention goes energy flows), internal representations (what you determine any experience means to you) and your life input (the actual situations you are in, what that brings you ie pressure, resources, etc).
#10 Pattern Interrupt is a tool in NLP that is used to change a person’s state. Often abrupt.
#11 Mutable Negotiation Through Time is by far the most challenging negotiation for any skill level. This negotiation has several specific elements: a)the number of negotiators is usually greater than 2 and changes through time b)the initial outcomes for the Negotiator is subject to change through time c)the resources essential to achieving or exceeding the Negotiator’s current intended outcome are not always apparent and lie hidden within the crowd of negotiating complements that the Negotiator will have to face through time d)in order to access the necessary resources from the pool of negotiating complements effectively the Negotiator will really have to stretch his level of absuridty fearlessly through time e)this type of negotiation will require the Negotiator to use all of his or her training and the evidence procedure for attaining the intended outcomes may not be absolutely clear until you attain the outcome.
#12 The Rules of the Game are the cause-effect physics of any context a person enters. The rules of the game of “Baskin Robins” are that you a)review their selection b) (optional) taste a selection or two c)make a selection of ice cream d)get served a selection of ice cream e)pay for your selected ice cream f)eat your ice cream before it melts (hopefully). The rules of the game a child’s birthday party involving ice cream might be very different like a)sample each b)make your own c)eat as much as you want d)get washed off by a parent afterwards. Very similar process, very different rules (due to context). The value of knowing and playing by The Rules of the Game is accessing the full resources of any context and to not create any ignorance penalties for not knowing. Imagine the child that waits to pay for his ice cream at the birthday party - he’ll never get to eat it - there is no one to charge you at the party.
#13 Mental Practice is the process of creating or recreating the context in which you much act. For the sake of The Negotiator’s Secrets I mean “Negotiate” when I say “act”. You must summon up in your mind what a context will 1) look like, 2) sound like, 3) feel like (both tactile and emotional), 4) smell like and 5) taste like (if that comes up). After you have constructed the context in your mind, then you run through various scenarios. You are literally practicing or rehearsing. The reason this technique is so powerful is that the human mind doesn’t know the difference between what you imagine and what you experience. One form of Mental Practice is often referred to as internal dialogue. If you already experience internal dialogue then what you can do to adapt it completely toward a Negotiator’s Mental Practice is to apply the new tools that you learn here and through other resources UNTIL saying or doing whatever you say or do in your Mental Practice is second nature.
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