The Negotiators Secrets

Greetings Negotiators!

My wife, Suzanne is a very devoted entrepreneur. When she’s managing her home-based business and I “pop-in” her Ignore Quotient is quite high. This morning while I was showering I thought I might negotiate through her high Ignore Quotient by creating a pattern-interrupt (see #10). I was looking in my shaving mirror and thought - What would happen if I removed my mustache but kept the goatee? then laughed knowing I had found a way to negotiate thru the Ignore Quotient.

After turning myself into a dead-ringer for the Stone Temple Pilot Singer:

I went into her office and snuck up behind her. I began giving her a shoulder massage and talking to her quietly they way you might speak to an animal that’s about to bite you. Then I told her I had to leave so I walked away from her desk and picked up one of her girly office pillows and covered my face from the nose down real quick. She looked at me a few times kind of the way you look at the person in the left-hand turn lane that has a green light but isn’t turning.

Finally I asked her some benign question with the pillow down. Her Ignore Quotient was strong and unfettered. I asked the question again and the part of her wife-censor that detects annoyance began to wake up. After asking the same boring question a third time she stopped working and looked at me. “What did you do? Did you cut your hair? Something’s different…” It was at that moment that I made a kissy face at her.

Then she made the face. She saw the missing mustache and said not-so-sweetly “That’s scary”. Now considering I was about to go out into the world and deal with people - this was not the wife-will-boost-your-confidence comment I was hoping she’d make. Nonetheless, I did pierce her Ignore Quotient. I’ve been reaping the rewards of my shaved-mustache gambit all day now. Everytime she sees me - we talk about how I need to shave the chin-brow now that the lip-brow has departed.

I was going to shave it but when she compared me to the Stone Temple Pilot singer I changed my mind. I might be bias so you be the judge:

I think there will be some negotiating post I make in the near future that relates to “holding out” for your own best good. How many days do you think I’ll go without shaving the scary chin-brow? What will Suzanne ultimately offer me to do so. Stay tuned…find out!

If you’ve had someone attempt or even succeed to do something with you that put you in shock and changed the entire dynamic of any kind of communication and would like to share a story - please feel free to leave a comment or write me directly at justask@yourownbestgood.com. What can you do right now to Negotiate to Your Own Best Good?

If you enjoyed this post and would like access to more information - please join my newsletter group on the right side of the screen. If you would like personal help with anything to do with Negotiations I’m currently offering Free Apprenticeships to a limited number of people. You can sign up for the apprenticeship at the right-side of the page as well.

Bruce Burns the Negotiator!

Greetings Negotiators!

My Master Mind took a little break in our schedule recently for various wonderful reasons including my 13th Wedding Anniversary. Last night we picked back up and nothing is as amazing as revving up your creative process as joining others to realize your unlimited power. The daily grind has a way of mesmerizing you to the beat of your own routine. Master Mind is a group of unique beats and rhythms all designed to release your creative passion and inspire you to right action which of course allows you to negotiate to your own best good!

What’s really great about Master Mind is that each person in the group is in their own “place” in the world of creating abundance and mastering the law of attraction. That allows each of us to look at the others and either remember resourceful patterns we’ve already discovered and might have set aside or discover new resources and patterns that truly allow you to spring to the next level.

The group I belong to is my first group. I’m so grateful that it’s a strong and focused group. All the details that seem to go into forming and maintaining a Master Mind can be overwhelming in the beginning. All I can say to any of you who haven’t tried it is that first hour of Master Mind will be so strong and so inspiring that the lure of repeating the experience will easily become a resourceful habit.

Thank you Bill Hibbler for demonstrating Master Mind at Unseminar 3. I know we break a few rules that Joe Vitale and Bill Hibbler lay out in Meet and Grow Rich. Our general attitude toward Master Mind is to rock until we drop. Since we don’t meet but every two weeks - we give and receive all that we have for that night (and sometimes the next morning) to each other.

If you are interested in Master Mind or you are already a member of one please feel free to leave a comment or ask a question.  You can also leave comments or ask questions at justask@yourownbestgood.com.  If you’d like to receive my free Negotiator Primer or Join my free Apprenticeship just sign up on the right hand side of this page.  What will you do to Negotiate toYour Own Best Good Today?

Bruce Burns the Negotiator!

One misconception that many (not all) people have about Negotiations is that if you don’t close now - you don’t close. Remember Every Form of Communication is a Negotiation. My father who will be 73 this fall is as health conscious as a tri-athlete and has been for decades. He monitors his heart rate, water intake, exercise, food intake, weight - you name it. When he was 68 he twisted his knee in an accident 180 degrees. He rehabilitated himself after 8 surgeries on an outdoor spiral staircase and has no limp today.

A few months ago he was diagnoised with Congestive Heart Failure. As an electrical engineer - he is accustomed to doing research on the internet. He did his research and discovered that a)in most Hospitals if you are over 50 and sneeze they diagnose you with CHF and b)he had no symptoms whatsoever of heart problems. For months the doctors wanted to cut him open and operate - pump him full of end-game drugs and so on. He refused. Finally - he discovered that he had acid reflux - which was causing the hydrochloric gas in his stomach to seep into his lungs - starving him for oxygen.

Living in Austin, Texas means I also live in the land of alternative medicine. I’ve been “communicating” the option that my father come to Austin, stay in my home (he lives 2 hours away) and “try” the alternative means to getting better - all the doctors and meds of “modern” medicine haven’t improved his situation even slightly. Sometimes in a Negotiation “time” is the one ingredient that you require in order to succeed. My father will be pulling up in my driveway in a matter of minutes. We are going to see two different kinds of alternative medicine practitioners this morning.

I don’t truly know if they can help him - what I do know is that the difference between those who fail and those who succeed is that he who is willing to fail and try again will eventually succeed - he who fails and quits (in this context at least) dies. My father’s misery with this condition is something I don’t wish to share with the public. I’ll just say that I spent two days with him recently at our Family Estate and when I returned home it took me 3 days to get over the sense of overwhelm of watching him suffer through this.

Today he Negotiates for relief with new doctors. I Negotiate traffic and parking spaces so he can get that relief.  Every chance I had to Negotiate through time with my father without wearing out my welcome on the subject of trying something different in order to create a result - I did.  Even though that’s true, when he called me earlier this week and told me what he wanted - I was still surprised.

The fruit of our Negotiations sometimes appear when we least expect them too.

I love my father.

Bruce Burns The Negotiator

Greetings Negotiators!

Last night I had the great fortune of speaking with a woman named Kelly for the first time who had read The Attractor Factor by Dr. Joe Vitale. She was in alot of emotional pain and after reading a part of the his book she was inspired to contact him. Her call was eventually directed to my office. We spoke for over 2 hours and the topic of our conversation was RESOURCES.

If Negotiation is my strong right arm, then Resource Coaching is my other strong right arm. The first challenge when someone needs Resource First Aid is to re-direct their attention. When people are in a resource-depraved state - so is their attention. If you ask them what they notice about what’s going on around them and their life - they will tell you all that is wrong, broken and missing. I asked Kelly if she would be open to some training from me over the phone and she agreed.

Resource Coaching is a step-by-step technique. You must train the eyes to see where the feet need to go and get everything working in concert step-by-step. I was taking the first step with Kelly when she balked. She went from listening and wanting help to a long dreadful story about her life. I thought “We’ve slid off the road and now we are back in the ditch she probably called me from. I don’t like being muddy, so I washed my brain down and refocused to get Kelly and I back to the smooth clean road of Resources.

We stumbled up the incline to the road again and I put our “car” into gear and headed on back down the road trying to complete the “first step”. We were approaching the first step when suddenly she reached over (through the phone) and steered us right back in the ditch. It was like 8 or 9 pm when this was happening and I had already had a full day. I was “trying” to be “happy” about Kelly and I being in the ditch again.

This time instead of climbing back up the incline of our experience - I just stayed muddy with her as long as I could to “get” how she kept recreating the ditch result. I asked her lots of RESOURCEFUL QUESTIONS. Guess what I learned? She hated the word “resource”. I use the word resource in about every other sentence when I’m sleeping - you can imagine how often I might use it when I’m awake. So now I have to keep from laughing at the potential Mad TV skit that is arising from this experience: A woman in a resource-depraved state contacts me so she can really hike up her resources and I start giving her the Resource Remedy but she can’t stand to literally hear the word “resources”.

Would you have quit at that point? I did briefly think of hanging up so I could go eat dinner before 10pm but I decided since I had already uesd the words “Play Full Out” with her - that I had to be a model for those words or look like a snake oil salesman.

Staying in the ditch with Kelly (nice and muddy), I began to ask her questions about things that made her happy. Her level of resource-depravity was so strong that we had to sort through about 3 stories before I finally actually found a happy one. (The mud was starting to dry) On the third story of her son eating doodle bugs as a child - I discovered the word “doodle” made her laugh so much she could hardly think of what to do next - so I substituted the word “resources” with the word “doodle”.

We spent the next 30 minutes or so doing some “Doodle Coaching”. We quickly climbed out of the mud, got back on Doodle Road and I discoverd that the Resource Coach’s Fast Car was now a Doodle Bug (pun intended). Near the end of the conversation Kelly asked me if I knew anyone that did Energy Work. I have another client who I do Resource Coaching with and lo and behold at that moment (almost 10pm) she called me on the other line. I took the synchronicity as a sign I could finally have dinner so I networked the two women together and got off the phone.

In a Negotiation sometimes you have to be willing to either a) speak someone else’s thought-language or b) invent a new language in order to Manifest your outcomes. If all forms of communication are a negotiations then communication itself is the most prized negotiation-resource there is.