The Negotiators Secrets

Greetings Negotiators!

In the late summer of 2001 I had the habit of working at night and sleeping during the early hours of the morning. After having descended into the blissful oblivion of up-all-night sleep at about 6 am on September 11th, I was awakened sometime after 8am by my wife. She said the following things to my still nearly comatose brain:

“Cheryl just called and she said that the Pentagon has just been hit and the World Trade Center has been taken hostage by a Jet Airplane.”

I thought I was in a Saturday Night Live skit or something. Since the information didn’t make any sense – I had the urge to tell my wife to turn the lights off and go back to sleep. I love my wife so I asked a question to her Peter Pan/Tinkerbell story: “What?” She repeated the comment and I told her as I was coming back to consciousness “That doesn’t make sense.” She was very upset and had probably been up for hours. She replied “It’s what Cheryl said”.

So I asked a few more questions which led me to believe that something had happened to get two women spreading stories that had a Twilight Zone element to them. My wife was wanting to know if I thought “we” were safe. I explained to her how far away D.C. was from Austin and reminded her that we probably aren’t high on any target list. She likes to walk when she wants to clear her head so I asked her if she would walk our newly acquired puppy, Smooches and I would watch CNN and sort it out.

Smooches Reaction to 9/11 (and everything else)

I did sort it out and of course the “reality” was far less believable than the wake-up story my wife had told me. Like most Americans that day I watched the TV trying to grasp what I was seeing and hoping that some “explanation” would help it make sense.

In the 6 years since that day my life has been shaped by the 9/11 Events in many ways. For those of you who follow my blog closely you know that I’m a big fan of Asking Resourceful Questions. I also train my clients and apprentices how to and when to Challenge the Information. I suppose the biggest transformation that’s occurred to myself as a result of the 9/11 attacks was-is a greater and more focused sense of understanding my place in the complex country we live in, both philosophically and literally (two very different pictures of course). In short I’m 500 percent more civic-minded now than I was before that morning.

Today, children born in 2001 are now old enough to start school and learn to read and write. How many years from now will it take them to grasp all the changes that 9/11 brought into their world (our country). They will mostly like think that:

1. Terror Drills and Lock-Downs at Elementary Schools and Above are normal
2. That anyone with a police uniform should be detaining them, asking them questions, requesting they discuss what their parents do at home, if they have guns, and how many guns is normal.
3. Being stripped searched at Airports is normal.
4. Having an hour of gym a week at school and not being able to “get excited” on the play yard is normal.
5. That every 200th kid they might randomly meet has Autism is normal (there’s never been a report of Amish Autism)
6. That news about war and an existing war is just how the world works.
7. That the biometric “chip” that’s coming down the pipeline in a few years which will implanted somewhere on their body is “normal” and even “cool”.
8. That using a camera or video camera in NYC is a crime.
9. That the right to free speech can only be “allowed” in “free speech zones” is normal
10. Mandatory Civil Service is normal
11. Food scares, local terrorism and FEMA camps are normal.
12. That the word used by the media to represent any ill-defined villain is called Al-Keda
13. That the current “outcasts” of society are Muslim in faith or are of obvious middle-eastern descent but the 4-6 new Hispanic kids in each class each year that can’t speak English are normal.
14. That going to the doctor for most things is an absolute waste of time is normal.
15. Seeing a tape of Osama every year that never seems to change in appearance or content is normal.

Not all of the above is directly related to the attacks of 9/11 however they are a “normal” for these post-9/11 children. I remember what life was like for the 38 years I lived before 9/11. Do we just “get used to it” or do we choose to challenge the information? What each of us as parents and adults living in the post-9/11 society choose will determine what our children believe is “true” and “real” about the world we raise them in.

I wish to say to all those who love someone who died on or after September 11th, 2001 as a result of what happened that day on the South End of Manhattan – I am truly sorry for your loss. For those who were marred by those events directly or indirectly who still are among us – please forgive me for not contributing sooner, for not listening sooner, for not doing something to make a difference sooner – I have no excuse.

If you have been touched by 9/11 or related events and wish to comment or share a story you are welcome to leave a comment at the bottom of this article or send it to me directly at justask@yourownbestgood.com. Even if you disagree with me, your comments or emails are welcome.

I’ll see you at the Negotiating Table!

Bruce Burns, the Negotiator!

Greetings Negotiators!

In the last few days my subscriber list has climb considerably! I want to welcome all the new folks to my Negotiator’s Training Grounds. Some of the new subscribers might have heard about my website, products and services through Pat O’bryan’s recent book Launch:

So of course I now have to tell you the latest Bruce & Pat story. Before I begin the story I just want to breakdown the road to how I became the Negotiator and more recently the Dateinator (will explain this title in a minute). In 1989 I was certified in a technique called Neuro-Associative Conditioning Systems created by Anthony Robbins. I was fortunate enough to have gone to the 2nd to last 15 day certification process in Maui, Hawaii. The Certification Process was the first significant benchmark in my developing human-behavior and human-results model. The title interventionist was what I went by and still do from time to time helping couples, families and businesses break the cycle of unfulfilling results and installing-developing new resourceful processes instead. I’ve worked with and helped some of the most challenged people you can imagine.

Two areas of personal challenge were common to almost all my clients: 1)the world of personal & intimate relationships and 2)Communicating AND Getting what you want in both the personal and professional worlds we live in.

I discovered along the road of my now almost 19 years of Intervention that getting what you want was nearly an infinite market for me to apply my profession toward. I stress-tested the world of Negotiations and Negotiators and discovered that the demand was very high and the supply was very low. After a few clients created the Negotiating Results they wanted and never thought they would achieve I hung out a new shingle and my Negotiating career took off with wings and a sizzle. Thus I entered (unbeknown to me at th time) the highest paid profession in the world.

When you try something new, something new always happens! The number 1 topic that people want to learn HOW TO Negotiate on is personal relationships. The seeds of the Dateinator were planted. The source for the title Dateinator is of course Dating Coach + Terminator + Negotiator. I’m not sure I’ll keep it since it’s still kind of new, so if you have a better suggestion then please send me your suggestions. If I use your suggestion I’ll gladly provide you with my up & coming The Negotiator’s Checklist Explained audio gratis. With encouragement from clients from every genre of Intervention – I began Date & Relationship coaching. And now back to our story…

One of the techniques I used is called pattern interrupt (see #10). I was sitting at a nearby Starbucks with one of my newest Dating and Relationship clients. We were on about hour number 2 when I wondered if someone had dropped a Twilight Zone pill in my coffee. In through the door walks this mountain of a man that I would recognize anywhere because of all the public work we’ve done together – the One the Only Pat O’Bryan. My client of course was impressed that I new Pat and we hugged like to Sumo Wrestlers (I’m not tiny) would hug as is our custom.

Pat is the creator of Your Portable Empire and nothing reveals a man’s true colors as much as a behind the scenes peek into what he is doing. After Pat and I said our hellos and introduced him to my Date & Relationship Coaching Client he said “Hopefully I can work on some emails finally…” took his lap top out and proceeded to work on his Portable Empire.

If you would like to comment or ask a question about anything I’ve shared today please feel free to leave it in the comments section or you can write me directly at justask@yourownbestgood.com. In the days to come I’ll be setting up something more definite about my Date & Relationship Coaching.

I’ll see you at the Negotiating Table!

Bruce Burns the Negotiator!

Greetings Negotiators,

Two weekends ago I went to a “Metaphysical Seminar” or something like that. Now, I’m not sure if I come off as being skeptical in my posts or not, but if I don’t, I am. And if I don’t it’s probably just an unconscious reaction to the concern I might have for some of my readers who may be “way” into things that happen at a “Metaphysical Seminar”. This seminar wasn’t like a religion with it’s “topics” it was mostly focused on healing the self or seeing into the invisible worlds through tarot cards, psychics, that sort of thing. One man even had an Aura Camera and I had not one $25 picture taken but two.

The reason I went was because my wife and I were invited by:

Chris & Ginger Pennell, Developers/Owners

to try out their healing device:

(Click to Englarge)

Click Here for More Information

I’m not sure they knew I was a big New Age skeptic, but skepticism isn’t enough to keep me from learning from people who are different so while my wife laid on the table and experienced her 30 minutes of “therapy” I mingled around the large ball room where all the different participants displayed their tables, wares and services.

The last booth that I investigated was defined by it’s colorful yet simple sign “Aura Photos”. This was right across the way from where Suzanne was laying down so I could easily watch for my “turn”. After speaking to the proprietor of the Aura-Photo booth, I did what I always do – I made a deal. In exchange for a before and after photo (before and after I laid on the table with the colorful lights I was so skeptical about)I would provide him some internet exposure, which I’m doing now. The details of the deal will of course be kept confidential because being too “glad” about what a great deal you got in public can often sour future opportunities.

Bruce and the Aura Photographer

So, what is it that I’m really in a lather about? I was wonderfully surprised at how amazing the entire Chromatic Therapy was! I don’t go to therapists, massage therapists (though I like them), Reiki masters, healers, doctors, vets or free-hug huggers. Perhaps because of my memory of having strep throat and my mother taking me to the doctor who looked like he’d slept in his suit for 3 days charging my mother $25 to say “You’re son has strep throat” and then telling me I’d walk it off or something without prescribing any medication.

So, I crawled atop the Chromatic Therapy Table and Ginger put a nice headset on my ears. Then the first amazing surprise happened – the table began to play music with the headphones. My whole body was listening to this amazing yet calming symphony, not just my ears. The sonic vibrations of the table put me into an almost instant trance. I tried to impress Chris with my knowledge of electrical work (he invented and created the entire device himself) only to watch him give me that knowing smile of someone not yet full in the Kinetic Chromatherapy Table Trance.

Chris and Ginger both worked on me non-stop for 30 minutes from my head to my toes. They bring there own super oxygenated water and I thought in my new-agey skeptic’s way that it was quaint until the sessions was over. I was parched. I was literally dehydrated. All I had done was lay down and listen to their music and be vibrated by their sonic table and let them do their “thing” (which I don’t know enough about to explain) for 30 minutes and suddenly I’m in a condition that is akin to running 10 miles and having super cotton mouth.

I felt very very different afterwards. I liked the session so much that I would love to have the entire device in my own home. Here is what my “aura” looked like before the session:

My Aura Before Chromatic Therapy (click to enlarge)

My Aura After Chromatic Therapy (click to enlarge)

I have much to share about how I Negotiated to my own best good that day, but for the benefit of the fine people that worked on me that day and captured my aura for posterity – I want to get this up now. More to come.

If you’ve Negotiated to Your Own Best Good lately in regards to your Aura or would like to know more about how to do that, please feel free to leave a comment or write to me directly at justask@yourownbestgood.com.

I’ll see you at the Negotiating Table!

Bruce Burns, The Negotiator!

Greetings Negotiators!

This afternoon I was doing the weekly grocery shopping with my wife at our favorite has-everything, high-end grocery store. We buy their store-brand dog food in three different flavors for our two furry children, Smooches and Nikita. So we get three cases worth and there were only two cases in our brand. There were two men in the isle re-stocking so I look at my wife, then I look at the stokers and guess what I did next?

If you guessed Started Negotiating then you are correct. Of course it is at this point most people ask the question “how?”. Here is the technique:

Ask yourself “What do I need, what do I want, what is my interest…” something along those lines. When you get the answers to those questions then turn those answers into questions themselves. Does that sound like a puppy chasing it’s tail? Lets return to today’s experience for the answer.

I wanted to buy a case of the-best-brand dog food for the our-standard-brand dog food price. The difference between our brand and best-brand was $1.00. When you buy in bulk, that $1.00 quickly turns into a tank full of gas. Once I decided what I wanted – I turned that what-I-wanted information into questions and here is what they sounded like:

Bruce: “Hey, looks like you are out of our favorite brand of dog food. Do you have any in the back?” David the Stocker: “No.” came the reply after a bit of stocker discussion with the other fellow in the isle. Bruce: “Any chance you’d sell me the super-expensive brand for our-favorite-brand prices if I buy a case?” David the Stocker: (Looks at me then at the empty shelf and ponders a moment) “Sure, I can do that. I’ll have to write my initials on each can and write the new price as well. Do you want two cases?” (David attempts an upsale then takes out his marksalot black marker and gets to writing) Suzanne: “Can we split that new-brand case into the three different flavors it comes from?” Bruce: (experiences just-closed-the-deal jitters and almost has a Negotiation Panic Attack thus almost vetos the wife-request but keeps quiet SOMEHOW) David the Stocker: (smiles and just nods his ascent) Second Negotiator (an elderly lady who was eavesdropping my Negotiation): “Can I get that too?” David the Stocker: (plays dumb [I think]) “Can you get what?” Second Negotiator: “The same deal that they got?” Bruce: (thinks to himself “Negotiate your own deal or buy my dog food for the price of getting such a great impromptu deal!”) David the Stocker: (bores Second Negotiator with a long monolgue about “quantity”, “supply and demand”, “special circumstance”…) Second Negotiator: (wanders off).

Second Negotiator

Don’t get me wrong – Second Negotiator can be a resourceful role. Especially if the Second Negotiator can structure a better deal or add (sometimes subtract) something from the original deal to make the deal sweeter and still create his-her Negotiating outcomes. HOWEVER, if the First Negotiator is worth his weight in $100 bills then few Second Negotiators can leech off your deal. I’m worth 13.4 million in $100 bills by the way.

And if Second Negotiator had known anything about Negotiating she might have offered to pay me directly for the cans she wanted – he did try to sell me two cases. That would have made her a First Negotiator by the way since she would be dealing with me, not him. I would have tried to get her to throw in her car and her pension fund however.

If you would like to know more about First and Second Negotiator please feel free to leave a comment or write me directly: justask@yourownbestgood.com. What would happen if everytime you opened your mouth you got EXACTLY what you wanted?

Bruce Burns the Negotiator!