Greetings Negotiators!,

Since I’ve had great success keeping up with this blog (blogging everyday….not)I’ve decided to launch a second blog. Actually my blog diversity is simply a way to maintain the integrity of each of the two areas that the blogs represent: 1)Negotiation (of course) and 2)Ho’oponopono. There may be some overlap once in a while but mostly I wish to let each site grow on it’s on. If you have an interest in the new site – fantastic and if you don’t fantastic!

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN
NEGOTIATORS
BRUCE BURNS
PRESENTS

TEXAS HO’OPONOPONO

AND

TEXAS HO’OPONOPONO MEETUP (#1 in google)

I love experiencing new things. Ho’oponopono is definitely different (and relatively new for me) than Negotiating.

I don’t usually talk about my Negotiating “failures” but since this one is in the spirit of the Winter Holidays (did someone say Christmas?) perhaps it will help someone out there. My wife and her family are like Christmas-a-holics. I’m not sure if there is a 12 step program for those kinds of people, but the first year I lived in Austin there were 3 Christmas trees in the house stacked neck deep in a 100 foot radius “under” each tree. I prefer to do more in the morning and less in the evenings – perhaps it’s my 40-something year old “gravity”. She just closed me on going to Hobby Lobby during rush hour traffic. I’d almost rather fold clothes (almost). So, if your wife or girlfriend closes you on a regular basis and you’d like to learn a few Negotiating turn-arounds for that or you just have a question – feel free to leave it in the comments section just beneath this post or write me directly at justask@yourownbestgood.com. If you are interested in a more intensive look at Negotiating and Negotiations you might consider applying for my APPRENTICESHIP PROGRAM (currently free).

I’ll see you at the Negotiating Table!

Bruce Burns, the Negotiator!

Greetings Negotiators!

This weekend I spent an entire day with a client. He was managing many major changes in his life and it requires him to work 18 hours a day, seven days a week. While I happened to be in ear-shot he received a call from an irate customer. I knew some of the back story to this particular customer and I suspected the call might be a defining moment in my client’s relationship with his client.

10 minutes later after some rather intense phone time with the irate customer my client was unhinged. He like many Negotiating Clients wanted to validate his “point of view” with me after having gotten off the phone. Me, like I am when it comes to Negotiating, wanted to TRAIN TRAIN TRAIN my client to appreciate the phone call like a Negotiator.

In the first few minutes of the conversation between my client and his client “blame” surfaced. The irate customer blamed my client. My client’s response to that was to defend the blame and talk about what he “didn’t do”. After the phone call had ended and some cool-down time had passed, I addressed these areas with my client.

Here’s what I said:

1. You can’t prove a negative.
2. When a client blames you for something unfairly if you can manage to keep your center and remember you are a Negotiator you can actually turn that event into a great advantage.
3. Blame or being a victim is a Negotiating Position. The position looks like “I take the position of a victim with all the victim monologue”
4. When you start “reacting” in a Negotiation you’ve lost the Negotiation. If both parties are reacting, the Negotiation is simply “done”.
5. The key to managing someone who is taking a “victim” Negotiating Position is to challenge the position through Asking Resourceful Questions. Most “victims” will change their tune when they discover there is a)absolutely no pay-off or b)a potential loss for taking such a Negotiating Position to begin with.

My client wanted sympathy and to focus on the drama of what his client had said while he and I were working through his experience. This is a very important distinction to make in each potential Negotiator’s mind. You can either get lost in the drama of a Passionate Negotiation or you can appreciate the value of a Passionate Negotiation and navigate through it to even greater rewards than a standard non-passionate Negotiation.

By challenging a “victim” Negotiating Position effecitvely, the Negotiating Complement often times will regret having been a baby and try to make up for the self-realizing humiliation by Overcompensating you in a Negotiation. Who doesn’t want $ in terms of overcompensation?

If you’ve ever been faced with Blame in business and would like to ask questions or just have a comment then feel free to comment or you can write me directly at justask@yourownbestgood.com.  To hear more about how to Negotiate, sign up for my newsletter on the right hand side of my site and receive a free copy of The Negotiator’s Checklist.  If you would like to dive deeper into the world of Negotiations then you may want to consider my (currently free) Apprenticeship Program.

I’ll see you at the Negotiating Table.

Bruce Burns, the Negotiator!