The Negotiators Secrets

Actually I didn’t go anywhere.  I’ve surfing the avalanche of my life which has included many changes.

First and Foremost! I’ve been completing some material that will be available any day now for purchase.  I won’t give too much away now - lets just say this is a Negotiator’s First Dimension of Negotiation by the Numbers.

Secondly, I was a VIP Guest at Pat O’Bryan’s Unseminar Three seminar earlier this year and the golden egg that’s about to hatch from that is that I somewhat accomplished a major goal I defined there - Suzanne and I are moving in to a model home that has nearly twice the square footage of our current castle.   We’ll start physically moving in (let me check my google count down timer) 127 hours and 34 minutes or 6 days.

I’m going to do another post to catch you up on the rest!

If you’ve manifested a goal you set and would like to share about it or even ask a question or two, feel free to write me at justask@yourownbestgood.com or leave a comment.

Have you been Negotiating to Your Own Best Good?  What choices would you make now if you discovered every time you opened your mouth you got what you wanted?  If you might be interested in my newsletter or getting some one-on-one apprenticeship training please find the link to the right of this post that corresponds.

Bruce Burns The Negotiator!

In some sports a false start is enough to disqualify a contender. The same is true in the human discourse often referred to as Negotiation. One error the ill-trained Negotiator makes before she ever gets to the Negotiating Table is to attempt to second guess or assume things about the yet undelved world of the Negotiating Complement’s side of the Negotiating Table. This bad habit is often the result of attempting to prepare for every variation of the anticipated negotiation. Such obsessive preparation is often the result of a Negotiator who is worried about what other people think and intends to “look good” at the Negotiating Table.

Knowledge is Power to the Negotiator on a scale like no other profession. Your words equal an increase in profit, position, opportunity, alliances, options and every other word that represents Resource. If you never learn anything else about Negotiating then please please hear this: A Negotiator’s duty is to inspire the Negotiating Complement’s information to flow and flow and flow. Get your Negotiating Complement talking by any means necessary. The metaphor that helps me remember what I’m doing in this part of a Negotiation is to think of myself as a Safe Cracker. My function is to get the Negotiating Complement to reveal his entire combination so that when I begin spinning the tumblers - the question of accessing all his resources is only a mater of how long I wish to draw the Negotiation out, nothing else.

I wish to qualify the point earlier about any means necessary. I don’t intend to arm any of you with ugly negotiating tools. The only time that I pull out my lumber-jack Negotiating tools is when the context is instantaneous and the rules of the game are already dirty and unforgiving - like catching the car thief hot-wiring your car or the guy that cuts in front of you at the movie theater. Hostile Negotiations are an essential element in the vast array of tools and resources needed by The Excellent Negotiator! that we will cover another day.

The opposite of an assumption in a Negotiation is Asking a Resourceful Question.  If you find yourself thinking in terms of an assumption or if the next thing out of your mouth is derived from an assumption - STOP!  Take a little more time and Ask a Resourceful Quesiton.

In my youth - I remember learning one thing and the excitement and the power of knowing one thing - like how to change the oil in my car was so great that it helped me halucinate the following logic: I know one thing and I learned that thing.  Therefore - I can learn anything and the knowing of all things is simply a mater of learning it.  Therefore I know all things though a few of those things are as yet unlearned.  (which gets shortened to) I know all things.

Today I am 43 years and 1 day old.  I’ve learned enough to know I hardly know anything at all.  In my Negotiations I amp up my own ignorance.  I want my Negotiating Complement to feel the great rush of vast knowledge and shine his rays upon my dull self…so I can then open up his safe and take what I wish.  By the way - each model of car requires you to learn how to change the oil all over again and oh my god that’s such a great way to spend my time.

If you have a story about someone who Negotiates through Assumption (including yourself) or have a question about how to deal with assumptions, asking resourceful quesitons or anything else I may have covered, please feel free to leave a comment or write me at justask@yourownbestgood.com.

If you are interested in hearing more about Negotiations and would like to receive my Newsletter please fill out the form under my picture to the right.  If you wish an even deeper grasp of Negotiations you might wish to sign up for my currently Free Apprenticeship Program.

What would happen if every time you opened your mouth you got exactly what you wanted?  Have you Negotiated to your Own Best Good Today?

Bruce Burns the Negotiator!

Greetings All!

I’m not big on LONG HEADLINES - however I am a sucker for any resourceful question. I’m sure each of you has stopped everything you are doing to contemplate the answer to today’s post’s headline. Hopefully I’ll remember to give you the answer somewhere in this post!

First off I just want to say thank you to Koorosh Vahabi for sending his first copy of The Million Dollar Secret That Lies Hidden Within Your Mind. You can find his material at http://www.hiddenmindsecrets.com. I’ve not yet had a chance to read the book, but I was quite honored to receive his first copy. I only know Korrosh through the internet, we’ve never spoken or colluded on any business project. Congratulations again Koorosh. Koorosh’s timing with his gift was quite synchronistic (can you figure out the answer to the headline yet?)

I can’t say too much about this next topic (today) so I’ll just touch upon it. I’ve been contributing to a product that is about dealing with fear. Yesterday I participated in some audio material. This product isn’t my idea though I was grateful to have my attention drawn toward it and to have to use my varied skill sets to engineer some solutions that have to do with dealing with fear. An hour after I was done - I took action to face the greatest fear I’ve been juggling with for nearly a year now. As I said in the work I contributed to yesterday - you have to move from your head to your body and take action to escape the paralyzing prison. Of course today I have some resourceful questions. How do we negotiate our way into fear? How do we negotiate our way out? Who are we negotiating with when we do either?

Finally - I want to thank Amy Grant (http://www.newsuccess.org/success/success_blog/index.html). Amy gave me some one-on-one coaching in February of this year. The coaching was part of a seminar we both attended. She was a contributor. She asked me a very powerful and resourceful question about what I REALLY want. The answer was quite specific with middle of June deadline that I created. (Can you guess the answer to the headline yet?) I didn’t hit my specific mark on the answer I gave her, however I must say from the deepest pit of my skeptical self that her work has paid off! Suzanne and I signed the paperwork last weekend to move into a home that is nearly double the floor space of what we are living in currently. My wife is so excited about the move that we don’t sleep much at night (we went to bed at midnight last night and fell asleep after talking around 5am). Thank you Amy!!

In my headline I named Erin Murphy. She was the little girl that played Tabitha on the 60s-70s TV show Bewitched. She and I and all the other people listed in my headline were born on the same day - June 17th. Tomorrow is my birthday. Erin and I were born the same year as well. Barry Manilo (God I can’t believe I’m revealing this)was once my all-time favorite singer (5th grade). King Edward the I was also known as Longshanks. He was the King in the historical fiction Braveheart with Mel Gibson. The Scotsman that rallied the Scots in the end of the Movie was named Robert the Bruce - that is who I am named after. Venus Williams turned Pro the same year Suzanne and I were married. I have no known connection to Joe Piscopo except that I almost rented a 4 story house in New Jersey (where Joe is from) in the late 80s with 3 women that were all in love with me. Happy Birthday to all of you!

What would happen if everytime you opened your mouth you got what you wanted? Have you Negotiated to Your Own Best Good today? If you found any of this post interesting enough to comment on please feel free to do so below. If you’d like to know more about Negotiating or might be considering a serious study of Negotiations please find the signup for my newsletter and/or my apprenticeship program to the right of this post.

I’ll see you at the Negotiating Table!

Bruce Burns the Negotiator!

Because of the buzz - I’ve been keeping up with the Great Paris Hilton Suspended License case. I remember reading in the first few days of her sentence on the busiest blog on the internet (at that moment) about how people were crying ‘foul’ at the top of their lungs about preferential treatment. My comment at the time was that focusing on the crime of “driving with a suspended license” wasn’t even worth blogging about unless it happened to a VIP. So the focus wasn’t the crime though people might lament that it was - the focus was the status of the “criminal”.

What’s ironic is that in all walks of life people attract to them in many different ways preferential treatment all the time. Perhaps you are a regular at a restaurant and you are given a seat with a view and they know what you want so you don’t even have to order - they just bring the food. Doesn’t that feel good? What about parents who donate money to schools, colleges and the like - do their children get preferential treatment at those institutions? I’m sure thats factored into many wealthy parents decisions on such a choice.

How about politicians? Would you give up your fine seat at a concert or 5 star restaurant for the candidate of your choice? Even your neighbors - don’t we prefer one neighbor over the other - a polite and thoughtful neighbor gets preferential treatment over a noisy, busybody - don’t they? Did I hear someone cry unfair? Sure it’s unfair. Fair is a very abstract idea. Fair can also be considered a resource though because of it’s abstract nature it isn’t easy to acquire or hang on too.

In my own personal philosophy I’d rather help someone acquire the resource of fulfilling or compelling or joyous. I suppose the last question I might ask about Paris would be - who of you that had the resources of the Hiltons wouldn’t attempt to ease your child’s suffering if you could? A few of you wouldn’t - you’d want her to toughen up. Learn a little respect perhaps - but I think that most parents have a hard time watching their child suffer and would use their resources to transform that if they could.

Interestingly enough, Paris did get out for a brief time. She or her handlers understood the value of learning the rules of the game (see #12). Apparently one of the rules of the convicted is that you can get special consideration and preferential treatment for a medical condition. Some might call it an exception to the rules. Paris got a brief exception. Of course her and her handlers knowledge of the rules of the game weren’t perfect - seems the judge didn’t accept her exception.

In any negotiation knowing the rules of the game is an essential edge that can make or break some deals. One of the rules of internet marketing that I learned which has been quite beneficial is that you should research your competitors and then add 1 new thing they don’t offer. Find the crowd you want to be in (Internet marketing wise) and then create one new component to your discipline and stand out. Internet Marketing is a form of Negotiation. Each Marketer is negotiating for the interest, attention, traffic etc of a finite set. There are a large but finite number of people who utilize the Internet.

If there is a context you are in or know about that you’d like help with please feel free to write me at justask@yourownbestgood.com. I’d be glad to help you learn the rules of the game of any given context (for free) if I can. You are welcome to comment on today’s post at the comments section even if you don’t agree with me.

What would happen if every time you opened your mouth you were able to get what you wanted? What will you do to Negotiate to Your Own Best Good, Today?

Bruce Burns the Negotiator!