The Negotiators Secrets

Greetings Negotiators!

The path that led me to become a Negotiating Trainer was personal and professional intervention. In every single intervention I’ve ever completed that had to do with “relationships” – I added this resource to my client’s resourceful skill set: “Never Play Someone Else’s Game”

One element of intervention that is in the N.A.C.S. technique is labeled pattern interrupt. A successful Negotiator will learn ways to derail their Negotiating Complement’s Negotiating Pattern. Can you remember when you had this great idea or plan that you were so excited about you were about to bust and you went to share it with someone but before you were done talking you had completely lost your excitement? What happened?

What happened was that someone got you to play their game – thus you stopped playing yours (which included feeling very excited about this amazing idea or plan). Considering that every form of communication is a negotiation that means that at least some of the people you speak to will derail you if they consciously or unconsciously don’t prefer “your game”. A “decent” negotiator will not only derail you but he or she will then “re-rail” you onto their way of responding and thinking, they will put your attention where they want it basically.

There is a CEO of a local company that I sometimes consult for. His reasons for being in business are far from common thus he and I are ALWAYS attempting to attain different goals as businessmen. This creates a great deal of friction between he and I on at least a few occasions. In the beginning of our business relationship he was demonstrating a bad habit: fairytaling (see #7 ). Recently he requested I accompany him on a follow up visit to a relatively new client of his. He intuits that I play my game very differently than he does even if he can’t clearly intellectualize the difference. His reaction to this “difference” has been to try and control my output (what I lend to a negotiation or business scenario). I have a very strong rule about Not playing someone elses game so of course I’ve been incongruent about conducting business with him because of this.

You can recognize someone trying to derail you from your game by the comments they make and the questions they ask. Those comments and questions will be requests for you to eliminate or add something to your contribution that you don’t normally add or eliminate. They will ask you questions that start with these words “Is it necessary…” or “You think this time you could..” or “I’m not sure you understand what I need from you…” This process is about boxing you in and getting you to agree to conditions that highly limit you or force you onto someone elses playing field.

This would be a great time to exercise the word NO. If “NO” is a challenge for you then I probably need to do a post or two on the value of “NO”. Actually if you are in the throes of negotiating then of course there are many other alternatives besides “NO” you might negotiate toward – though the ability to say NO in a Negotiation is very powerful!

If you have ever experienced being “derailed” or discovered that you were playing someone else’s game and wish to share that experience or ask a question you are welcome to send me an email at justask@yourownbestgood.com or leave a comment here! How can I help you Negotiate to Your Own Best Good?

Bruce Burns the Negotiator!

Greetings Negotiators!

Yesterday afternoon I was working with one of my long-term clients. Our business relationship is such that I walk him through negotiations over the phone and once in a while I’ll go along with him on a face-to-face meeting. Before I say anything else about this client – I want to make it clear that he has come a long way from his previous Negotiating patterns.

Yesterday evening was the initial meet-and-greet with new client for him. I went along as a consultant. My client examined his new prospect’s business and when the client asked for the bottom line – my client impressed me by asking for more than I would have asked. I sat there smiling at my client thinking he’s really been learning a lot since the last time we did a meet-and-greet together.

The new prospect didn’t hesitate when he agreed to what I thought was an outrageously high price. Once again I was impressed. A Negotiator really has to believe in himself/herself to utter the outrageous and have someone “just agree”. I assisted my client in performing the work that was involved. The situation was either the “fix” was going to be fairly straightforward or it was going to be an “allnighter” with complex troubleshooting involved. During the course of “the fix” a situation popped up that required “the client” to be inconvenienced. My client offered a discount and that seemed to oil the wheels of commerce between the two companies.

At the end of the evening “the client” asked for the total and my client suddenly showed his fear which was reflective of his own self-worth. The number he gave “the client” was 20 percent less than the original outrageous number. I thought: “I wouldn’t have managed it that way – but he did offer a discount”. Then my client said “Oh, I also promised you a discount.” When it was all said and done – my client gave the client about a 30% cut on the originally agreed to price.

The Client didn’t negotiate at all. He agreed to every number that was presented to him. Ironically the type of company the client had was a call center where all the employees sole purpose was to close people for profit.

One of the precepts that is elemental in the journey of a Negotiator is to ALWAYS BE WILLING TO RECEIVE MORE THAN YOU ASK FOR OR WANT. If I had to create an affirmation that was representative of that essential negotiating concept it would be: “I always negotiate to my own best good. I always accept the complete manifestation of my intentions. I love that the universe can provide me infinite percent more than I have asked for and I’m willing to accept that as well.”

Do you ever find yourself Negotiating down out of fear? Negotiating Down is when your Negotiating Complement has congruently accepted your proposal-offer and then you reduce it. I’ve given you an affirmation that is intended to guide your conscious and unconscious toward accepting all that you ask for and more. What would be the opposite of the affirmation for you? If you can identify what that opposite is – you will have uncovered an unconscious counter intention that minimizes your fullfilment and success. Bringing limiting beliefs and counter-intentions to the conscious level allows us to clean them out and be free of their shackles.

If you have Negotiating Fears or find yourself Negotiating Down and would like some help, leave a comment or email me at justask@yourownbestgood.com

Bruce Burns the Negotiator!