If you’ve been reading and listening to my material this concept Every Form of Communication IS a Negotiation isn’t new to you. If you are joining for the first time then now you’ve heard it.

I often say it to clients as a form of training – giving them a reference for how to focus on Negotiation. However I’ve not spent much time demonstrating how my theorem is true and how to recognize it. Two elements of the world of communication come dramatically into my mind: Spin Doctoring and Arguments.

Recently Paris Hilton has been making the news about her overly-significant driving with a suspended license. She’s demonstrating her resourcefulness by having an online petition placed online to urge The Terminator’s own Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to “pardon” her.

I’m sure each of you have your thoughts or lack thereof about this topic – what I wish to point out is how this “maneuver” is a negotiation. One simple way of understanding any negotiation is to think of it in terms of Agreement. Before I go into that however I want to point out some resourceful aspects of the Paris Petition:

1)By writing the petition she requires people to consider her position however strong or weak as opposed to her position being disregarded or even unheard of.

2)In regards to agreement every person that signs the petition publically agrees with Paris. Public Agreement is a very strong form of leverage.

3)The Paris Petition is an interactive focal point that can be discussed, blogged about, bantered about on TV, Radio, You Tube, etc. Without the petition such talk or interest would be unfocused and gather a considerably reduced negotiating position.

4)The Paris Petition requires others to “take” a position themselves. Arnold’s press corp has already issued a statement. People who “take positions” are the easiest to negotiate with. It’s the ambiguous or indifferent person that provides the greatest challenge in a negotiation.

5)By publishing the Paris Petition online Paris has taken a public position. Once you take a position you can begin to adjust it (that is one way of understanding what a negotiation is).

I’ve revealed some of the resourceful aspects of the Paris Petition. Now lets return to the topic of Agreement. One mis-perception about the result of agreement is that a person agrees because what is being presented is what they believe is true or viable or completely acceptable.

One cultural belief that challenges the new negotiator is that of compromise. How often have you heard the words “You need to compromise.” or “You must find a compromise!”? As a professional Negotiator I simply wish to remind you that the concept of compromise is to make you vulnerable or reduce or weaken your position – whatever the topic.  Agreements are often achieved even when your negotiating complement is not attaining what they believe is true, completely acceptable or viable.

Arguments are also another form of negotiation.  Often times in an argument the leverage in the argument is intense emotions stemming from a difference of position or perceived position.  Think back to your childhood when a parent might have said “Don’t take that tone with me young lady (or young man).”  What was that parent really communicating?  You aren’t permitted to take a position of “indignation”, “anger”, “frustration”, “impatience”, “disbelief” and so on.

They key to using Negotiating Excellence in an Argument is to negotiate toward the root of the argument. Another way of appreciate an argument in light of negotiating is to think of it as a previous agreement that at least one party believes has been violated or broken.  There are really only two approaches to resolving an arguemet like this: 1)change your negotiating compliment’s mind about the broken agreement (ie prove you didn’t break the agreement) or 2) re-negotiate the original agreement.

If you’ve been challenged by spin or arguments and would like to ask a question or leave a comment – please comment below this post or write me at justask@yourownbestgood.com

How can you Negotiate to Your Own Best Good Today?

Bruce Burns the Negotiator!