Greetings Negotiators!

Do you know anyone who tries so hard to be “liked” personally or in business that they finish someone’s sentences or extrapolate what the “other” person is thinking or feeling based on just a few words?  Have you ever met a person in business that treated you this way and they were way off the mark?  Did they seem confident and self-assured that what they “thought” you were thinking was accurate?  Have you ever dealt with someone who had never seen your specific situation, had no information about your details but seemed to have it “all figured out” as soon as they arrived or even before they arrived?

If so then you’ve experienced someone mind reading first hand.  Perhaps you have done some of these things yourself.  “What does mind reading have to do with Negotiating?” you might be asking.  I’m glad you asked (pun intended)!

Mind reading is the communication opposite of asking resourceful questions!  If you are my negotiating complement and I look over at you and ask (myself) “I wonder if they need a service contract to go along with this bid?” then I mind read –> “Of course they do!  This is an ideal place for a service contract.  I’m sure they can afford it and it will make it that much easier to close them.  I’m glad I had this discussion (with myself).”  And then I say “So are we going to sign you up with a 2 year service contract or a 5 year service contract?” (thinking that is a resourceful question) And you have that business feeling that is like being drowned by a huge octopus…

Negotiating with someone who mind reads is like riding in a car with someone who’s not paying attention to the road as they drive.  A mind reader is so busy trying to impress you or himself that he’s not demonstrating any sensory acuity(see #8 ).  Mind readers are either the easiest people to close or the hardest.  They are essentially negotiating with themselves.

The way to manage a mind reader is to consistently ask him or her questions that don’t relate to what they are saying.  You need to interrupt their script.  This will cause them to actually think about your position and question their own self-contained negotiation.

If you are a mind reader then the cure for this personal challenge is to spend your days asking people really simple questions and forcing yourself to listen as closely to their answer (both verbal and non-verbal) then form strategies of how to interact.  Being a mind reader usually means that you have a far greater need to be listened to than to actually listen.

If you know anyone who mind reads and would like to share a story please feel free to comment on this post or you can write me at justask@yourownbestgood.com.  Just tell me what I can do to help you Negotiate to Your Own Best Good!

Bruce Burns the Negotiator!